A heart warming smile
from a stranger
with love behind
the twinkle in his eye
he could be a rich man
he could be poor
he could have had struggles
he could have suffered
his story unknown
in this moment
in a smile.
Which rather allows me to take a huge step of artistic licence to say what I wanted to say regardless of the prompt...is that naughty?
When I woke up this morning I was thinking of what I said here...When people dismiss suffering it can make the suffering feel even worse...sometimes we need to speak out to show people how their ignorance is harmful. Compassion and at least an attempt to understand can go a long way towards dealing with it, especially in moments where it threatens to overwhelm us again...
After speaking to my mum and us having a lovely light-hearted and serious chat I wrote my status for today.
*Our biggest enemy is fear...it attacks our well being worse than any other thing. The physical shite we go through is always made worse by how much fear it evokes within us...
All our most challenging emotions have fear at the base of them and all our uplifting emotions are given their wings by the love that is always available to us when not cloaked by our fear...
Our hope and our guiding light to get through the darkest times we face as individuals and as a combination which is the whole of humanity...including those rotten gits that stir the fear the worst...or something like that!
I've been dancing with fear the last few months...I have had many moments where I thought I would buckle and maybe even die...every moment I get fear out of the way I can breathe and I can manage to do something towards self care.
I have been working on facing my fears for a long time. Sometimes just experiencing them and finding our way back out the other side gives us insights that we share and help remind us all how much fear can cripple us and how much loving compassion shared helps us all...our fears can be sparked by similar things, buttons of past pain and loss...I wrote on my wall the other day I am not brave, I have just somehow managed to get through all the shite so far...at that point I felt quite low. We all have more worth than we are often shown and by ourselves at times as well...when we support each other with outpourings of love and understanding we can inspire each other to keep on trucking through....*
I have had a better day than for months. Maybe I really am on the road to recovery this time. I rang mum again a couple of hours ago. I read out what I had written to her and my voice was stronger than she has heard it for a long time. She wanted her friend to hear it too and so I read it out again. Mum's friend often says what a waste of my talents by not being well enough to do much with them. I said it isn't a waste, it is unlikely I would have written that without the suffering I went through to come to that deeper understanding of what I already know!
I wonder if it makes the messages I feel the need to share in any way more powerful due to the suffering it took to get there? At the moment, I am in a state of love and understanding where my fear of continued suffering kept me trapped in a very limited state. I also wonder at the potential for increased well being as I let love wash away the fears my experience of life has challenged me with, including the fear of being treated as worthless due to being ill. Also of being a burden to those who care for me.
Fear is a cycle we can break out of from time to time, I think it is when we respect where the fear has come from and love anyway, trusting that we can free ourselves from fear, even deep rooted ones...or something like that...it'll bite me on the bum again and become a pain in my neck and I may find myself struggling to breathe when fear gets me back in a grip, drowning in my sorrow at a life ripped out of me, again I will tell fear, I understand why you are here, eventually or sooner than later and I will be love again, with love I can reach for the stars and find my dreams stuffed down the back of the sofa...
Picture prompt found at...http://www.morguefile.com/