Saturday, 22 January 2011

Fear Huh, What is it Good For...

Showing us our insecurities...but we often get caught up with the enormity of fear. It is something I have pondered a lot having faced much of my fear in a self therapy that I had no choice but to implement if I wanted to hang on to the little sanity I had left. I wrote the following on my facebook wall...putting it together here as I feel it has valid points to many...I've edited the swearing ;o)
I think we avoid facing our fears till we realise we have no other option...
and we find out as we face them that actually they are as damaging as we allow them to become.

Just thinking about fears I have faced and am still facing.

Thinking about people becoming suicidal because of the cuts and how must worse life becomes when illness and disability comes to visit, decides to stay a while, maybe indefinitely. It gets worse when there is very little or even no support. The thing that really hurts us is the fear, the fear we can't cope with the discomfort and pain, the fear we can't live with the disdain, the hurt and the fear can cripple us even more.

Living through the procedure of begging for less than subsistence welfare to survive when you are unable to support yourself, being turned down and/or reassessed and found not eligible, appeal, tribunal all adds extra strain. Being told you are fit for work when you are struggling to survive each day, some worse than others is adding insult to injury, rubbing salt in the wound. It leads to fear of how survival will be maintained after the fear of surviving health issues have already been faced many times and it can be made more likely of a death through stress than with help.

I've looked at that fear and I keep saying, "Fug you fear, you are as poopy as our government, you have no place here....get out of my you guys, you showed me how strong I am and how insipid you are when I see past your bravado and bullying...poop that means I bullied myself cos it was my fear that hurt me the most....I forgive me, I may even forgive you too." *blows raspberry...and parps for good measure.

This is something that has happened over and over again for me. You can exchange government for rapist, ex who hurt me, friends and family who hurt all boils down to me hurting me in the end, even though it is through the hurt of other peoples treatment of me.
Someone mentioned we can't always face it in one go...we need to measure out facing them.

yes...we can't face them until we have to but sometimes we have to avoid them until we can cope with what we have to do...if that makes sense? x

just been reading something about filling the forms in and being assessed which was just like something I may have written but more formal I have Stranglers singing 'Something better change' in my head, I may listen to it out loud or just start singing!

It was in Guardian online, I've been unwilling to register on many of these places...I'm not totally sure why either...maybe it is time for me to do so...

we are all facing our fears...and it aint easy

some lives make those fears seem even more hugely dark shadows that can give them more power to cripple us further...

LOVE to all facing them there fears...and hugs x

When we have our back against a Wall...
yeah although we sometimes fight instead then...till we collapse and fall into the arms of our own love... 
So there we have final conclusion as there is no such thing, we are never finished. We can't get it wrong because we are never all dealing with fear remember this too will pass....see you on the other side, but not for many years yet x

 btw can we put this to UK time at all? I posted this 00.58 Sunday 23rd January 2011 my time :o)

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