Tuesday, 10 May 2011
After Meditation After Slump
Today has been quite a day. I feel much better and am hoping to have a bath even though I couldn't have a clean bed today. Tonight I will be hugging my pillow dreaming dreams of clean beds and things like that...it doesn't take much to make me happy really.
Had a lovely conversation on the phone with a lovely friend and am now in a face mask waiting for her to ring back after the break for teas and wees and to not go over the hour...smiles
Created 10-05-2011 at 18.20
having a spate of videoing this one is probably quite more boring to many than others...I don't really know why I do this in some ways. It is partly a record of how I am doing for myself. After being declared fit for work and knowing that the tests are unfair and that I am due going through the process again soon even though I haven't had the ESA reinstated yet and won the tribunal the last Thursday in March.....and breathe! Oh yeah and I am wearing a face mask too...I may not be proud but dignity doesn't depend on perfection.
Back to the plot! I was just watching a video I am not sharing of me meditating and was thinking of those who would think I am mad, or weird or crazy or just eccentric or actually doing quite well considering the life I have experienced. I was thinking I am remarkably sane for the insanity of abuse and pain I have suffered. I know my suffering has been far less than some but it has also been far worse than probably average...although it is not a competition to have suffered and got through it well or not so well...life is a big thing and like a quote I saw the other day far too important to take too seriously...I love the fact I can find if not joy and bliss, a little peace in any chaos or emotional storm...
11-05-2011 at 01.19
Now going to go and have that bath, it is 03.37 and I am still in the face mask...