Tuesday, 9 August 2011

Reflections of Bad Behaviour

The voice of the angry mob is often louder than the voice of reason, it shouts down reason with intimidation & wants immediate gratification. So please don't become a different angry mob, then we all lose.
..even more...

been thinking of how many views are being argued...

how the gov have done their job to create civil unrest...

how we may never know the full picture...

how intimidating some are in their calling for harsh punishment...

how we need to tackle the causes while healing the damage...

how the rule of the mob works...either way

how it is not as simple as good people against bad people...

how well this is working in further dividing us...

how it makes me want to say nothing for fear of being shouted at in a way...yes my most deep rooted fear that closed me down so much in my formative years, confrontation of the me being wrong & the other being right, no matter the truth. Often being that both were wrong and right. If we learnt things differently we may learn to deal with the things we bottle up that become aggression waiting to happen. The things that support that are being eroded. It is easy to blame those who have lost common decency, the rioters or the system that has created the right ingredients for people to lose hope, pride, dignity and be ultra reactive.

Just thinking of the video I posted a while ago by Russell Means about how America has become the reservations and I could see so has Britain. When you listen to the history of what happened to the American Indians and how crime became more normal a way of life for many. Civil unrest has been on the cards for a while, the hoodies are the Indians, alongside the disabled, ill, unemployed, low waged, single parents and any other scapegoats that get a turn in being blamed for all our countries ills and the cowboys are directed by the elite. Of course there is growing calls to scapegoat them too, even if many have been terribly greedy and badly behaved, claiming huge expenses when normal people are struggling, media playing their part too. Thing is the 'sides' are less easy to spot now. The resentments against others who appear to have an easier time are still gaining momentum for many.

There is propaganda and alienation between so many groups of people who would have stuck together in other generations. I don't mean offence to anyone, especially American/Canadian Indians, their history is a disgrace to Europe. Again the ordinary person was very much swayed by propaganda and the belief that was spread of the non human status of Indians, the savage that became then romanticised and demonised all at the same time. Without fully understanding the reality.

We make conclusions so quickly with minimum effort put into understanding it for the good of all.

We do know that fairness in a society tends to create better communities. Unfairness in vast proportions breaks them down.

What are we learning here?

Where do we go from here?

Will we lose the precious little of our rights to protest a little more through this?

Maybe the new youth centres will be detention centres, that will cut costs eh?

We were making progress in many little and large steps to make our country a better place for all but those have been swiped away so quickly in just over a year...and yes I know some of these things were already in place. Atos was already denying illness and disability in many who are struggling to survive. Although the first medical I had in 2009, the assessor understood my condition and treated me like a human being. It had changed drastically by June 2010. I don't know if I was just lucky the first time and that assessor is probably no longer working with them. The surprising ease with which they demonised people on benefits, almost especially those on sickness related ones was very frightening. The rise in hate crimes and intimidation of disabled and/or ill people also causing more stress related complications have added to this fear. I had a breakdown through it, which was a good thing in many ways because it reminded me of other abuse situations I have been in and I worked through my fears of worthlessness and frustrations of health issues, making peace within. It nearly destroyed me but it didn't. I don't look down on those it does, nor pity them. I have vast amounts of empathy for those who appear to fail. I know I have appeared to fail so many times but I am still alive and I can still love.

I'm not boasting about that fact although I could be a little indignant about it. It was hard to keep on loving when things went the way they did in so many areas of my life. It is also hard to hold resentments and pain from the past. I learnt how to let them go, piece by piece, little by little. So I may not know the exact pain others suffer but I know what pain is, physical, mental and emotional pain, repressed pain which always finds a way to come out, healthy or unhealthy.

I can still love and I intend to beam as much love as I can as far as I can. I will get better as I continue to work on my emotional well being and building my immune system back up. Wanting to live is an important thing. A few days ago I didn't want to live. I worked through the fears of never having any ease of joy again. I had a very good conversation that reminded me of what my goals are and gave me the ease to sleep upstairs last night, back downstairs tonight but breathing has been bad, emotional causes understood.

We all hit rock bottom in different ways, some sobbing, some robbing, some shutting down, some exploding. We all also manage rock bottom differently and come out of the phase either more wounded or more healed and often a bit of both.

What goes on in the turmoil of the self can be seen in the dramas we play out in our life stories, in the little picture and the bigger one. To be badly behaved there is fear, pain and anger being expressed in an unhealthy way. That goes for the bad behaviour at the top and the bottom.

So maybe we need to think about how we can be a healthy society, not merely a further repressed one?

Greed, anger, abuse, deceit, violence and other bad behaviour stems from fear, fear imprisons us if we let it. Literally when we don't manage it well and become more badly behaved, although some opinions are not agreed on what is bad behaviour as there are many in prison for arbitrary laws too.

this was just a bit of me thinking aloud...is it still allowed?!

I probably should revise it before posting here but I will maybe later! I just posted this on my facebook. As I chose a title for here I thought of reflections, as it is me reflecting upon the reflections of fractured society and how that reflects on us all. We could really do with more of us understanding a little of the psychology that we need for self realisation, which some find without help or understanding the principles but just naturally work with them but many struggle with. When we understand underlying reasons for things we can work on better behaviour and reactions to bad behaviour. We can step back and respond with deeper wisdom. Even so called stupid people can respond to the deeper wisdom that resides sometimes hidden within us all. People often sound stupid when they are behaving stupidly. We can all be stupid, we can all be ignorant, we can all offend, we can all be the worst expression of ourselves. We can all also be the best expression we can be.

We can also forgive and learn, not forget because our experience is with us till the day we die and beyond depending on what you believe.

Last time I went out of my house was 10 days after the time before. I saw the man who raped me. I had to walk past him to shop for essentials I had run out of. I didn't feel the fear, he was no longer a threat. It has taken me 17 years to get to that point. With better support I may have got there quicker. I still wouldn't deal with seeing the man who assessed me fit for work last year as well as that. I still have fear of being abused by the system again. I'm pretty sure I could 'make' the man who raped me pretty impotent if he tried it again and not by physical means, not that he is likely to. Words can work very well, so can laughter, in the right places. A tool of abuse is manipulating peoples fears, gaining their confidence or the confidence of onlookers to manipulate even more. A tool of healing I suppose is manipulating in ways yet it asks that we look at our fears and see where we use them as an excuse not to love something or someone, especially our own self.

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